There is Goddess of female eroticism and sexualitya moment in the first Avengers: Infinity Warteaser trailer where Spider-Man's hair stands straight up on end. Folks, Spider-Man is all of us at this moment, because that trailer -- which probably won't be released to the public until at least after Comic-Con -- was astounding.
Marvel unleashed a 100-million megaton bomb of a teaser at Disney's D23Expo on Friday, an affair that was so loaded with incredible shots and moments that it was hard to hear what was said over the screaming at the Anaheim Convention Center.
SEE ALSO: 'Incredibles 2' will put Elastigirl 'at the center of the action' while dad stays homeAfter nearly every member of the film's cast -- who are still shooting in Atlanta, bless their hearts -- took the stage with Marvel mastermind Kevin Feige, the lights went down and we were underway.
(Spoiler alert: If you want to stay unspoiled for whenever this trailer comes online -- and we can't say when that'll be -- then read no further.)
We open aboard the Milano (the Guardians of the Galaxy's ship) somewhere in deep space, as the gang is looking upon a scene of mass destruction. "This could be dangerous," Star-Lord says, "so everyone put on your mean faces."
Before they can get a handle on what's happened here, something big smashes into the windshield with a mighty thud -- and it's Thor.
Bruised, battered and unconscious, Thor is brought aboard the Milano, where Mantis wakes him up. He's disoriented and grouchy: "Who the hell are you guys?!" he asks the gang. Sometime later, presumably after everyone's gotten to know one another a little bit, Thor says as they come up on another destination (Earth, perhaps?): "Something's very wrong."
A battle is raging. Scarlet Witch is trying to save Vision, who looks to be in peril. Doctor Strange and Tony Stark are flying into action. Next we see Loki, holding the Cosmic Cube, facing down an unseen foe. Or perhaps offering the cube to him. And we all know who I'm talking about here.
"Death follows him like a shadow," a female voice says (probably Gamora's, since he's her dad -- though it could be anyone) as we see glimpses of Marvel's ultimate mega-villain flash on the screen.
Next we cut to Spider-Man riding a school bus that's crossing a bridge when the hair on his arm suddenly stands straight up on end. It's the spidey-senses, and here we are seeing them for the first time, telling us that something is about to happen.
"He's coming for us," says the voice of Tony Stark, and by now we know for sure he's talking about Thanos, whose giant ship is crashing to the surface of whatever planet we're on (if this is Earth, it already looks pretty ravaged and post-apocalyptic, but it could be elsewhere).
And now we hear that voice, a digitally deepened Josh Brolin: "'Fun' isn't something one considers when balancing the universe," he says, "But this does put a smile on my face."
Thanos then emerges -- he's very big, possibly bigger than the Hulk, even -- and breaks into a sly grin.
And this is when the trailer jumps into fast-cut montage mode: Spider-Man swinging into action in his new suit (the one from the end of Homecoming). Captain America in a new beard and shaggy haircut, jumping into action. Thanos, holding the top of Thor's head in his hand, looking ready to crack it like an egg.
For a big finale, Thanos wields the Infinity Gauntlet (which appears to only hold two of the five stones, though it's clearly very powerful already). He reaches back behind him as if to throw something, and the sky ripples and cracks behind him -- he's summoning some destructive force from the very fabric of time and space itself, calling down giant fireballs of doom. Or is he throwing chunks of the moon? I dunno, you kinda had to be there.
"You can fight it ... you can run from it," Thanos said. "But destiny still arrives."
For its part, Infinity War, arrives on May 4, 2018. No telling when this trailer will arrive online.
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