As Republican Senators craft their version of the AHCA bill -- better known as Trumpcare -- in secrecy,I Would Rather Kill You the waiting can be frustrating.
The Democrats don't know what's in it. The White House doesn't know what's in it. Even the House GOP, which passed its own version of the AHCA earlier this year, doesn't know what's in it.
And that has House GOP staffers reaching for strained metaphors, like this one unearthed by a reporter for the conservative Independent Journal Review:
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
To which we say: wait, what?
First of all, that knock on Disney. Has this staffer even seen the two movies released since Disney bought Lucasfilm in 2012? The Force Awakensand Rogue One? They were, you know, kind of well-reviewed, with 92% and 85% on Rotten Tomatoes respectively.
Also, if you're comparing the Senate bill to Disney-era Star Wars, that means the House bill is the prequels -- and we're not sure you really want to go there.
Star Wars is just in another galaxy far, far away from the legislative abomination known as the AHCA. Star Wars movies are crafted with care and love over a three-year period; the result delights millions of children and inner children.
The AHCA, on the other hand, was slapped together in a matter of weeks. Far from delighting anyone, it will (at last count) throw at least 23 million people off the health care rolls and leave anyone with a pre-existing condition as untouchable as a Tatooine moisture farmer.
With under 30% support in the polls, trailing in blue and red states alike, Trumpcare is even less popular than Attack of the Clones. You could pass a bill mandating that every primary care physician has to talk like Jar Jar Binks and it would be more of a vote-winner than this. (If you like your Gungan, you can keep your Gungan.)
One part of Star Wars is applicable here, at least. The absolute secrecy in which this bill is being crafted -- the Senate reportedly has not seen a bill rammed through like this, without hearings, since Pearl Harbor -- makes it a dead ringer for the Death Star and its giant battle station successors.
The original Death Star would have caused outrage in the Senate had its existence been known during construction, so the Emperor kept it a secret until he was ready to disband the Senate. It was only the brave squad led by Jyn Erso that brought DS-1's existence to light by stealing the plans. (Felicity Jones, we have another mission for you.)
The second Death Star was deliberately designed to look half-finished and shoddy -- just like Trumpcare. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's only hope of passing it is if the American people don't realize the bill is armed and fully operational.
And then there's Starkiller Base from The Force Awakens, the existence of which was perhaps the weakest aspect of Disney-era Star Wars. It was revealed halfway through the film with no foreshadowing, then killed millions of unsuspecting people.
The parallels to Trumpcare are obvious, except for this: Star Wars is fiction. No one actually died filming it. If this total turkey of a bill goes into wide release, the results will be far, far more dangerous than sitting through a stiff story with poor CGI.
Help us, moderate GOP senators. You're our only hope.
Topics Disney Star Wars Politics
The Most Disappointing PC Games of 2017
Poets on Couches: Shane McCrae Reads Lucie Brock
The Commute of the Future by Tom Gauld
Poets on Couches: Mark Wunderlich by Mark Wunderlich
Epic Systems v. The Work Force
Betraying My Hometown by Yan Lianke
Poets on Couches: Maya C. Popa by Maya C. Popa
'Come with me on a first date.' The TikTokkers live
How Education Reform Ate the Democratic Party
How Pop Music Broke the Gender Binary by Sasha Geffen
The Conversion of Gucci Mane
Poets on Couches: Natalie Shapero by Natalie Shapero
The Great Bird Search by Nicolette Polek
Poets on Couches: Mary Szybist Reads Amy Woolard by Mary Szybist
Whale Vomit Episode 7: Hope in the Time of Cholera
What Our Contributors Are Reading This Spring by The Paris Review
3 best stationery bike deals: Peloton, Schwinn, and Echelon deals at Amazon
How to Survive the End of the World: An Interview with Mark O’Connell by Rosa Lyster
I’m Sticking with My President
Redux: Nothing to Grind by The Paris Review
TCL Alto 8 Plus Dolby Atmos soundbar deal: Save $160 on the TS8212 at WalmartBest board game deals: Take up to 47% favorites like Catan, Azul, Ticket to Ride, and more.Best Samsung deal: Save $60 on the Galaxy Watch7 at Best BuyNYT Connections hints and answers for April 8: Tips to solve 'Connections' #667.Best TV deal: Get an 85Best Samsung The Frame TV deal: Save $500 on the 65ChatGPT now remembers more about your past conversationsMeta's 'M3GAN' chatbot is a nightmare for moviegoersBest Fire Stick deal: Save $20 on Amazon Fire Stick 4K MaxNYT Connections hints and answers for April 8: Tips to solve 'Connections' #667.NYT Strands hints, answers for April 9Microsoft Surface Pro 11 deal: Get $450 off at Best BuyHow to edit your TikTok videos using CapCut, according to 4 creatorsBest smartwatch deal: Save $132 on Garmin Forerunner 955What's new to streaming this week? (April 11, 2025)ChatGPT now remembers more about your past conversations'The Last of Us Complete' — how to get the digital and Collector's EditionsBest tax software deals of 2025: Save up to 30% on TurboTax and H&R Block at AmazonThe Sabrina Carpenter 'Fortnite' skin is everywhere, and it's pretty funnyBest candle deal: Save up to 50% on select Yankee Candle scents at Amazon So Metaphorical No Boots Without Leather All in the FAM Business as Usual Necessary Anger Women on the Verge To the Bitter End Fresh Hail Moloch Jet Age Capitalism Redux Revenge of the Quants The Deserving Migrant Back to the Wall The Tears of the Taxed Bombs Away The Trials of Scott Warren Onward, Christian Soldiers Certain Unflattering Truths Grist for the Rumor Mill Heaven Help Us Storyline Fever
2.2509s , 8222.9453125 kb
Copyright © 2025 Powered by 【I Would Rather Kill You】,Prosperous Times Information Network